Why Aren’t My Prayers Being Answered?
Question: Why aren’t my prayers being answered?
Answer: May Allah reward you for asking such an honest question, and may He guide us towards the truth. Ameen.
I think what happens in this type of situation is that we mix up our means and our ends. When we make du`a’ for a good husband, for example, is that strong marriage a means or an end? I think many people take it as an end, which explains much of the disillusionment and disappointment that often follows (ironically in both cases: whether we get it or we don’t). Like everything in this dunya, marriage is only a means – a means to reach Allah. So if we pray for it and we don’t get it, perhaps Allah has chosen another means for us – perhaps through hardship, the purification it may cause and the sabr it builds, to bring us to that end: Allah. It may be, as only Allah knows best, that had He given us that amazing husband we made du`a’ for, it would have made us heedless and therefore not achieve our end at all.
Instead of seeing it like this, however, I think the problem is we are seeing things as just the opposite. The dunya (that great job, certain type of spouse, having a child, school, career, etc) is our end and *Allah* is the means that we use to get there. We use that means, through making du`a’, to achieve our end (whatever it is that we’re making du`a’ for), and then get disappointed when our means (Allah) didn’t come through for us. We throw our hands up in the air and say our du`a’ are not being answered. Our means just isn’t coming through for us!
But, Allah isn’t a means. He is the end. The ultimate objective of even du`a’ itself is to build our connection to Allah. Through du`a’ we become closer to Him. So, I think the problem is that our focus is wrong. That’s why I love the du`a’ of istikhara so much. It’s just perfect because it acknowledges that Allah only knows best, and then asks for Him to bring what is best and take away what is not best. The focus of that du`a’ is not that which you are asking for. The focus is what is best in this life and next. This is not to say that we cannot make du`a’ for things specifically that we want. On the contrary. Allah loves for us to ask of Him. But it means that once we ask, do our part to the utmost, and put our trust in Allah, we are pleased with what Allah chooses for us. And we realize that Allah answers all du`a’ – but not always in the form we expect. And that is simply because our knowledge is limited, and His is unlimited. In His infinite knowledge He may send us what He knows to be better for us in achieving the ultimate end: the pleasure of Allah (swt).
Wa Allahu `alam (and Allah knows best).
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Tagged: Du`a' (Supplication), Overcoming Hardships, Spiritual Purification, With the Divine
8 Comments
Salam Does aklul halal have a key part in acceptance of duas???
JzkAllah khair
Salam Yasmin,
One of my friend told me about you and that’s why I m messaging , I don’t have much knowledge of islam but I try my best to gain and gain more.
I started praying 5 times since the start of this year and I really liked a guy and I was dating him. After every namaz I used to make dua that he stays in my life and that he becomes bettet for me. I was very very happy Alhamdullilah but then he left me . I kept praying but then although when I prayed I didn’t believe that Allah will make him mine , because I think Allah always takes aaway from you something which you love more than your life. So after he left me , I didn’t even have slightest faith in Allah . I stopped prayer a month back . Whenever I used to pray I felt it was useless and I m talking to wall or just myself , tauba naozbillah I started thinking I wish I was an atheist atleast I wouldn’t have expectations.
Now Ramadan is here , I m fasting and praying Alhamdullilah but I don’t have faith again. I ask for mercy or something I won’t but I feel he’ ll never bless me with that. Please help me . I want my faith back.
Salam,
i am in a similar situation..is it okay if i ask u what life is like now? did he come back to u ?
I went through a similar situation.. Asking for that person instead made me fall in love with ALLAH.. and then i was doing everything for HIM praying for HIM loving HIM only and trusting HIM that HE wont let me be hurt ever.. i wanting that guy not because i wanted him.. Only because i just didnt want an affair do exist in my life.. it was a mistake and i didnt want to let that mistake exist in my past.. but that on the other hand didnt mean that guy was my everything.. it was a dua i made to my ALLAH believing that HE always listens.. no matter what.. like 100%.. no doubt about that.. but you need to create love for ALLAH for that.. and amazingly after some months that guy came back SubhanALLAH with a marriage proposal
So actually what happens is that i believe love for ALLAH is the missing factor behind our prayers not being answered.. First make a connection with ALLAH.. First find him.. If you feel you are talking to a wall then definitely you are.. Because you didnt find HIM.. getting the point?
If you first fall in love with HIM and have a relation with HIM then you are bound to get whatever you desire for.. the question is that are you close to ALLAH? if you are close to HIM and value HIM, HE is bound to value you! Undoubtedly!
salam mehreen
First of all dating is haram in islam and it is clear that Allah do not likes any type of relationship before marriage so i do not understand how could you expect from Allah to full fill your dua. Namaz is for Allah not for human being ! from your posts its look like you started praying after involving in that guy and left praying when he left you. Sorry to say this not a prayer that Allah is expecting from you, Prayer should only for Allah. Your most important thing in life should be Allah not anything else or at least try to make Allah your most beloved thing in this world then i guaranteed that you will get your other desire fulfill and may be even Allah bring back that guy in your life.
May Allah (swt) guide you to his light. Know that every calamity is a test and also a blessing in disguise. Repent, not only with your limbs, but also sincerely with your heart.
Your sister,
Yasmin Mogahed